at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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