His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
