We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My penis needs a shock collar
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
