I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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