4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he thought i was a dude.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
