The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
