i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
