I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
