I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
