Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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