how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
