the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
