ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
