dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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