do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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