i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
