Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
