accomplished twins. life is a go
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
