Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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