Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
