Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
