So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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