forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
