Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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