does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
