I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
