This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
