he told me I talked like a deaf person
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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