Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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