No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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