I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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