I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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