then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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