We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
