He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
