some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
