There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
