her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
