OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
