i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
