they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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