I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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