Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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