Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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