He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
