3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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