i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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