I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
