I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
