My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
