If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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