I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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